so milwaukee was fun... it wasn't as traumatic as i thought it would be. of course i became irritated with my family at many points, so i wasn't all that sad to ditch them at the ferry depot. from there i drove to craig's apartment west of the downtown. i pulled in, and there he was. he looked the same and yet very different... harsher than i remember, though i've gain weight since then so i'm like the chubby one now. but take it or leave it. i really wonder what was going on in that head of his, but i've been wondering that for 2 years now.
needless to say, we had a good visit. i still feel very comfortable with him; we've always gotten along well, it's never been awkward. i was incredibly nervous at first though, and i'm not totally sure why. i think part of it was revisiting all of those emotions again. the good was really good, and the bad was really bad. luckily, he admits he was an asshole, which i appreciate. and i gave him enough shit about it so i am fully satisfied with where we are now. after all, i'm sure both of us have grown up a heck of a lot, so you would think it would show.
even now, i still feel a tangle of emotions over him, and probably with my current situations, and even a pinch of me still wishes for those old days....
and yes, why did i title this entry so? instead of planning my life around boys or family, i somewhere along the way thought it would be a good decision to plan my life around my friends. but what let downs they can be! it make me envy those who live alone. perhaps, craig, i'll follow in your footsteps after all...
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